He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
