Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They took my balls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
