I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
