The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
