i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
this is an emotional support booty call
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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