watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
