It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize