This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
