i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
bring money and cleavage
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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