I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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