he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
