A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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