Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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