Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
