Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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