Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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