i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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