ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
