we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
