so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
