i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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