We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
