I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
