His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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