He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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