Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!