My cat gives me a boner
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
