haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
