You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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