Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He is an equal opportunity slut.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
