sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
