I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We got so high we made milksteak
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize