dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
