I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
