If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
