is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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