we have officially lost it.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
