You really coming over, don't trick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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