one two three fourrrrnication!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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