your parents love me but you hate me
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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