Kiss
Puke
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
