Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
