i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
