I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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