i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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