my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
