fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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