This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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