Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
