Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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