I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
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Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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