yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know what to do about my nipple.