Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
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These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA