can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
