One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
