kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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