i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
