there was a trapeze. enough said
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
